jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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