I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We have so much sex to catch up on
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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