apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize