Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
