the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
