Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
