How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
