so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
