I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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