I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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