everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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