Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
only if we run a train.
done.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
