brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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