So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize