i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
