You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
