In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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