Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Floor bacon is actually really good
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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