I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
