Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
