"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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