You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
