My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I will pee on everything he values.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
