That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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