one might say we're banned from that church
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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