At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
These tits shall not be calmed
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
