Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
