i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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