now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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