is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
