So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
