Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
