maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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