Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
