who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
