He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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