Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
