can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize