Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
