alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
my liver is dry heaving
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
