i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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