Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
