i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize