..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
