i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Everything about him screamed your future.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
