I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i need some magic done to my vagina
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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