i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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