Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
