operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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