I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
