we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I am available for nakedness
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
