Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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