I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
