Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
