Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
