Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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