ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
