i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
