Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
