I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
