he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
