I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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