I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So much Jack, so little girl.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
