My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
your room smells of hookers.
And success
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
