At least make sure they are 18
Why
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
