like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
