sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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