2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize