we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize