i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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