So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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