just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
