They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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