I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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