Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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