my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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