You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
