is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
