11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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